As I drove down I was thinking what the vet would say about her. She would probably give her some pills to help her breathe better because she was an old girl of fourteen years. Once she was on the examination table, the vet checked her heart which I suspected was not as good as it should be but at her age it was normal.
But as I waited for her diagnosis, I felt that painful moment of truth when reality sets in and the tears began to flow. This small procedure was taking too long. Rosie was in real trouble. She said something about taking an X-ray and trying some medication because she had water on her lungs and her heart was not functioning well. She asked me if I had noticed that she was turning blue inside of her mouth. Rosie was dying from the lack of oxygen. Her little body was tired.
Part of me wanted to pick her up and bring her home but I had made a promise when I took her in that I would never let her suffer because she had lead a very complicated life. Rosie had lost a lot of people in her life and had lived in several homes. When she came to live with me, she found freedom. No more being tied to a lease outside. I would make sure that she would never have to move again. This was her forever home. I used to watch her run with such joy and happiness. Just last week I found her out sitting in the grass and when she seen me, her little face broke out into her look of happy and she ran towards me. I bent down, picked her up and told her how much I loved her. She really was my best friend and the only one who understood all that I had been though in the last few years. She was my loyal confident, the one that understood my tears and she gave me a reason to smile everyday no matter what was going on.
She was also my last connection to the life I had lived with a man called Pierre. I hope he was there to meet her on the other side. He loved her so much and I often used to wonder what she thought happened to him when he disappeared from our lives.
And so I made the very painful decision to have her put down. I held her and made sure I was the last thing she saw as she left this world and I told her I loved her. It was not even two weeks since we had lost our old friend Whiskey and I had did my share of crying for her as well. I thought maybe Whiskey was so happy where she was, that she came and got Rosie. Together they can run and play without any more pain. Just two young pups exploring the heavens. At a time like this, we need an imagination to help deal with the loss.
She is buried near the big lilac tree and it is still in full bloom. How fitting for a girl named Rosie... the best little dog there ever was... Ditz and I certainly miss you funny girl!!!