She entered the room all by herself. There was a large crowd already there and the band was playing some of the 70's greatest hits. She looked around the room to see if she could recognize some familiar faces. Judy had called her yesterday to say she would be there early and that she could find her near the bar. Sure enough, there she was laughing it up with some grey haired man who looked somewhat familiar. She started to walk towards the bar, when someone tapped her on the shoulder. Turning around, she found herself looking into the eyes of Donald, her old high school crush. His eyes still had the same effect on her. A smile crossed her face and he reached out to give her a friendly hug. It didn't take long for Jackie, his wife to walk over and separate the two of them. After a few minutes of polite conversation with her, she made an excuse to go find Judy. As she turned around to walk away, she heard Jackie say to her husband," She certainly got old looking and put on a bit of weight too."
People never change, she thought. Jackie had always been jealous of her and this was just a way to make her look bad in front of her husband. It was a defence mechanism and her husband was probably used to it. It didn't bother her and she actually felt sorry for Jackie because she must always have to be in a defensive mode. Yes she put on weight and she had aged as she struggled to get through her two year battle with ovarian cancer.
Judy grabbed her arm and hauled her on the dance floor as Ball Room Blitz started. They had danced to that so many times in their younger days. She laughed and felt like a kid again. She was so grateful to be alive
Imagining having the chance to talk with your great grandmother. You may not have known her because she died long before you were born. The only thing you know is what others have said about her. Your Mom told you that she was a strong woman who raised seven children while running the local post office. Her husband died when he was only thirty nine years old and she managed to raise her children and work out side the home. At that time it was an uncommon situation. If you could have a conversation with your great grandmother what would you talk about... what would you ask her?
She got up at 3 a.m. to make her daughter cupcakes. She had to work today and would not be with her little girl. The least she could do was bake something that would make her daughter happy on her fourth birthday. She was exhausted but wanted her daughter to know she was loved.
The cupcakes were still warm but she put the icing on anyway. There wasn't enough time for them to cool. She dressed Ella and gave her the small pink back pack to carry out the door. They had to catch a bus for the two hour bus ride to where she worked and the daycare was within walking distance. Ella could sleep on the way and she would try and get some rest as well. Yet she was always worried that she would fall into a deep sleep and miss the next two bus changes along the way. It was still winter and most mornings she felt really bad to have to take her baby out of a warm bed and into the cold early morning darkness.
She had no choice because Eddy had left her after she got pregnant. To pay for everything she worked long hours and travelled two hours morning and night to work. It left little time for anything else during the week.
She dropped Ella off at the day care and gave the container of cupcakes to one of the educators telling them that it was her birthday and she was hoping that they would make her feel a little special. She left with tears in her eyes because Ella deserved more.
The boss opened the plastic container to see that the icing had dripped, the little cakes had been tossed around during the long trip and everything was a mess. She said to throw them out because they were not fit to eat. One of the educators waited for her to leave and took it upon herself to go against orders. She fix up the icing on the little cakes so that Ella would have her celebration. She knew that the little girl was looking forward to feeling special on her birthday and so she had the whole classroom celebrate by singing and turning it into a party. She also knew that the mother had made the effort to get up early that morning to try and make her daughter happy. That was worth getting into trouble with her employer.
What would you have done?
Strength flows from choosing kindness over hate, compassion over judgement. These choices change your world & the world around you...
Today stand back and look at the people in your life. What do they talk about? Are their conversations focused on the exciting things they have done or intend to do? Or are they talking about their neighbours and judging their lifestyle? Do they talk with kindness or bitterness in their voices?
What are they saying about the young woman who finds herself pregnant with no boyfriend to help her share her news?
" Well she was just sleeping around and she should have been more careful."
"She is old enough to know better. "
" Well like mother like daughter, you know her mother had her at fifteen."
"What can you expect with the young people today, no morals?"
"How is she going to look after that baby, she can't even look after herself?"
Instead of having compassion for the young woman who is probably feeling scared and alone, the world judges.
Instead of expressing kindness, their voices express a form of hate.
Why must we express ourselves in such a joyless state of judgement?
The reason is that we have our own hurt trapped inside of us and that hurt turned into jealousy, which turned into bitterness, which turned into judgement , that expresses itself in hatred towards others. Somehow it feels good to make sure someone else is hurting too. It doesn't make sense and it does not take away our pain. It actually add more salt into our own wounds, which makes us more bitter etc.
The words that you use in your everyday living is a powerful indicator of how you are feeling about yourself.
Change your thoughts, change your words. To do this, you are going to have to start to like yourself. In fact you are going to have to start loving yourself with all your flaws and bad experiences. Things are the way they are and you can sit and sulk away your life or you can choose to start finding little reasons to smile and soften your view on life. Being grateful, forgiving and kind does help.
Start to practice little acts of kindness towards yourself and others.
Start to look at others as if it was you in their situation. It could be, if you don't change your attitude. No one is above anything in this world. A millionaire can be living on the street in a year from now. A woman who thinks she has found the perfect man can be alone in a month.
This exercise will help you use compassion instead of judgement.
It takes strength of character and true courage to be kind and compassionate, but you get what you give.
Smile and the worlds smiles with you.
Cry and you cry alone.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
You get what you give.
Don`t get caught up in your pain, it makes it last longer.
What you resist, persists.
Have a great day!
We all know the power of words. You can actually change someone's day or their life with a few encouraging words of acceptance. I will not say much more except to encourage you to watch this short video. You will get the message...
Just a quick post this morning as I want to go for a walk before the sun disappears. I think that snow is on the way ... again!
Have you ever noticed that some of the best conversations are ones when someone said very little. It was just a look they had on their face that let you know what they were thinking. The connection was so strong that you felt what they were thinking. It was something in their eyes that allowed you to see into their thoughts and feelings.
Maybe you had a conversation like this with the person you wanted to love and his look melted your heart.
Maybe it was the look on a mother's face as she sat there worried about her child in the hospital.
Maybe it was an old man who knew he had run out of choices and dreams.
It takes a wise person to be able to understand these conversations and it makes us human.
Look around and find a conversation like that today.
A beautiful Friday morning... the sun is out and not as cold.
I was talking to a woman the other day and this quote reminded me of her. She desperately wants to find someone to love. He has to be young, good looking, rich, charming, romantic, love to travel, own his own home, clean, not clingy, strong, educated and so much more. I laughed at her detailed description of this perfect person for her, because at her age, I would have thought that she would have learned that maybe the most important thing is that he could make her laugh and feel special. She is retired, has a big pension, her own home and good health. As I listened to her go into the negative details about all the men who had been in her life, I could see that she had a few faults of her own and one of them was she was looking for love in all the wrong places.
I asked her to imagine that she had found this perfect person. Then I asked her what she had to offer this man in return for his perfection. She had not expected that question and the conversation changed. She was not ready to look at herself just yet and maybe she never would. Such is life.......